I love him
by Crotch-Mechanic
Summary: Destiel - This was a fun exercise in that I had no outline for the story, so I wrote each chapter with some kind of little twist at the end of each then I had to pick-up where I'd left off and make it work. It kind of wrote itself, and I couldn't be happier with the outcome. Please enjoy and let me know what you think. Thanx!
1. Chapter 1

Castiel gazed upon the unconscious body of Dean Winchester. Dean's brother Sam sat on the bed beside his brother looking grief stricken. Dean had been severely beaten by an angel named Zachariah who was bent on destroying him. Dean eyes were both blackened and his face was so swollen, he was almost unrecognizable. Castiel looked upon a man, a mortal man whom he admired greatly. Dean Winchester was without doubt the bravest man he'd ever met.

Castiel knew that when, if, Dean awoke and recovered, he would not hesitate to hunt down the angel who did this to him and kill him. He would not stop, not be deterred or swayed by anyone least of all fear. It was one of the reasons he had been chosen.

"Cass," Sam called.

Castiel looked to Sam and replied, "Yes Sam," in his deep, gravely, monotone voice.

"We have to take him to the hospital in town. He needs treatment. He probably has a concussion," Sam lamented.

Castiel didn't reply. He leaned down and laid his hand on the side of Dean's face.

Power, it emanated from Castiel.

Sam moved from the bed to crouch on the floor against the wall. He could feel great power radiating from Castiel. He saw on the opposite wall Castiel's shadow grow and a pair shadowy wings spread wide from it. After a moment, it all subsided.

"What was that Cass? What did you do?" Sam asked moving back to his brother's side.

"He'll live now." Castiel said.

Shocked, Sam shouted, "What!"

"He was dying. He will live now but you'd better take him to the hospital soon."

Frantic, Sam grabbed the car keys, he ran to the Impala and opened the driver's side passenger door. He ran back to the motel room grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him up and slung him bodily over his shoulder.

He called to Castiel, "Come on!"

Castiel followed him outside.

"Help me get him in the car Cass," Sam pleaded, "Go around to the other side and get in the backseat."

Castiel did as he was told. Sam lowered Dean into the open door so he sat on the edge of the back seat. He looked past him and saw Castiel sitting in the back seat facing forward as if waiting to go.

"Cass!" he yelled exasperated, "help me lay Dean across the seat."

Sam allowed Dean to fall back, and Castiel reached out and pulled Dean gently toward him so that his head settled in his lap. Sam twisted Dean's lower body slightly so he could fold his legs into the car and close the door. He then jumped into the front seat, started the car and tore out of the parking lot onto the road to town.

"Thankfully," thought Sam, "the hospital is not far from here."

Sam, glancing in the rear-view mirror occasionally at Castiel, said, "Listen Cass, we can't explain what happen to Dean, so when we get to the hospital we're going to have to lie. We're going to tell the people at the hospital that we don't know who Dean is and that we found him this way beside the road."

"Yes, I understand."

"Ok good. If they ask who we are," Sam paused and asked, "Cass what are you doing?"

"I'm stroking Dean's hair" he responded.

"I can see you're stroking Dean's hair but why are you doing that?"

Castiel looked down at Dean's pummeled face and said, "Because I love him."

Sam laughed and stated, "You love Dean."

"Yes, I love him. Do you think he would mind if I kissed him?" Castiel pondered.

"Oh, hell yes! He would mind!" Sam shouted, his mind blown, "and stop stroking his hair!"

"No," Castiel continued to stroke Dean's hair adding nonchalantly, "I love him."

Sam brought the car back from the center of the road from where he had let it drift. He looked at Cass stroking Dean's hair and started to analyze all the recent interactions between Dean and Cass. He had noticed there was something between them. He had been jealous a few times of how close Dean and Cass seemed to be getting, but he would never have suspected…love! It had to be one sided. Dean was the straightest person in the world according to, well, everyone who had ever met him. No, this was all Castiel.

Sam thought, "It's absurd. Never mind all that. Just get Dean to the hospital, leave Cass in the car unseen and go from there. When Dean is well, and fully recovered, I'll tell him about Cass's feelings for him, and he can deal with it."

Sam focused on the road and tried not to think about anything but getting his brother to the hospital.

But a nagging thought entered his mind, "Why doesn't Cass love me?"

Then he thought, "Oh fuck!"


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel looked upon the conscious body of Dean Winchester. Dean sat upright in his hospital bed looking much better than when he was brought into the emergency room yesterday evening. His face was no longer swollen thanks to an I.V. bag of anti-inflammatories, his two-black eyes remained but the darkness under each had lessened giving him a roguish look, and although, he still had to contend with several fractured ribs and a broken ulnar in his left arm, he was in a strangely good mood.

Now that he was finally fully awake and aware, Sam filled him in on the previous day's events describing how Castiel had driven off Zachariah and had kept him from dying. About how they had driven to the hospital. How they had lied and conned the hospital into accepting Dean as Leo Skynyrd, who they claimed, they found unconscious along the side of the road.

After hearing all that, Dean turned to Castiel, "You saved my life Cass?" he questioned.

"Yes. Twice"

Dean reached out with both hands toward Castiel. When Castiel didn't respond, Dean prompted him by saying, "Give me your hand Cass."

Castiel acquiesced and Dean took his hand in both of his and said, "Thank you Cass."

"You're welcome Dean," Castiel deadpanned.

Sam thought, "There, see that's odd." The way they looked at each other and while Dean could be friendly, he was generally standoffish with people which was understandable given his harsh life, and he would certainly shake people's hands if they offered theirs to him but he rarely, if ever, offered his first. Sam remembered a time when Dean was physically affectionate. Years ago when they were younger there had been, hugs, pats on the back or head, playful wrestling but all that had dried up years ago. He was not demonstrative at all anymore, "Unless," Sam thought, "you were a pretty barmaid named Candy Slut!"

Sam winced at his own vindictiveness.

"There's something else Dean" Sam said.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Cass says he in love with you"

Dean turned to Castiel and asked, "Is that true Cass? Are you in love with me?"

"Yes"

"Ok" Dean said.

Sam was shocked by Dean's nonchalant acceptance, saying, "Ok? ok, that's all you have to say!"

"Come on Sammy, he's an angel. He loves everyone. What's the matter? You jealous?"

"Wha, me, I" Sam stammered, "No, what are you taking about. He said he wanted to kiss you!"

Dean turned to Castiel and asked, "Is that right? Do you want to kiss me?"

"Yes I do"

Dean turned back to Sam, "Jealous?" he teased.

"Stop saying that," Sam ordered. "I can't believe you're not bothered by this."

Dean beamed and said, "What can I say, I'm adorable. People and…angels," he gestured to Castiel, "want to kiss me."

Sam was completely flummoxed by Dean's reaction. "Too many blows to the head," he thought, "he's gone mental."

"Maybe be you should see a neurologist. Check for brain damage," Sam offered.

"Maybe you should mind your own business," Dean countered.

"Alright! Fine!" Sam shouted at him, "that's what I'll do because I don't understand anything that's happening here Dean!"

Dean turn to Castiel and said, "What a drama queen."

Castiel replied, "I don't know what that means."

"You, queen? I," Sam stammered as he pointed an accusing finger at Dean and Castiel while he backed out of the room, red faced.

Dean stared at the empty door for a moment then turned to Castiel who asked, "Can I kiss you now?"


	3. Chapter 3

Dean's time in the hospital was short and sweet. Once he awoke, it wasn't long before he as barraged with difficult questions regarding his personal details and insurance coverage. Also, the police had been notified and would surely be coming to take a statement. Nope on that, he had to get gone and quickly. They waited till well into the evening shift and when the nurses left the nurses station to make their rounds, Dean, Sam and Castiel slipped out of the hospital and stole away in the Impala.

Due to Dean's casted left arm, the driving had fallen to Sam. He fumed behind the wheel as for reasons he could not fathom, Dean and Castiel had chosen to sit together in the backseat leaving him alone up front as chauffeur.

With the advantage of his height, Sam could see them easily in the rearview mirror. He could see Dean leaning his head on Castiel's shoulder while whispering to him, but Sam could not hear what they were saying. When he asked what they were taking about, they stated they were hatching a plan to dispatch Zachariah once and for all, but it sure didn't look that way to Sam. Dean was laughing and smiling widely. Of course, Castile displayed his usual flat demeanor. "His nickname should be No Affect Cass," Sam joked to himself.

Then he saw it. He pounded on the brake and brought the Impala to a screeching halt. Once the car had skidded to a stop on the shoulder, Sam leapt out the driver's door and made for the passenger side.

Dean exited stiffly from the car, yelling, "What the hell was that Sam! Are you trying to kill us?"

Sam confronted him. He pointed to Dean and said, "You were holding hands!"

Dean started to reply, "What are you…"

But Sam cut him off, raising a clenched fist, he bellowed, "If you say the word jealous, I swear to God Dean, I'll punch you right in the mouth!"

Dean raised a hand toward his brother and said, "Easy Sam. Calm down."

"You're making that awfully difficult Dean," Sam seethed.

"I know. Sorry."

"Why were you holding hands?" Sam asked.

Dean looked off into the night, shrugged and said, "I don't know."

"Do you have feelings for him?" Sam pressed.

"I don't know."

Sam looked down and shuffled in placed and then said, "You're partly right Dean, I am jealous but not because Castiel has feelings for you, but because I miss the days when you were more affectionate with me. We used to be closer." He paused and then asked of his brother, "Are you ever going to forgive me for leaving?"

Dean drew a deep breath and huffed. "You're right. It's true, I'm still mad at you for running off to college and leaving me alone with dad. It sucked."

"I can only say sorry so many times Dean. You have to forgive me, so we can move on."

"I know. I'll try Sam. I swear."

Castiel exited the car and approached Dean.

"Am I ever going to get to kiss you?" he asked.

Sam rushed forward, grabbed Castiel's face and planted a big, sloppy, wet kiss on him.

Dean, mouth agape with his brows pushed up toward heaven, stood aghast.

Sam broke the kiss and went back to the car.

Castiel turned to Dean and said, "Well?"


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel looked upon the brothers Winchesters from the backseat of the Impala automobile. Dean had hustled him into the backseat after Sam's impromptu kiss by the side of the road. Dean decided to join his brother in the front seat for the ride back to the motel. They didn't say a word to each the entire way back. Dean occasionally glared at his brother, and Sam would look sheepishly back at him, but neither one would break the ice and speak. Which was fine with Castiel as he considered most of what they said to be nonsensical gibberish.

Once they arrived back at their seedy, yet retro fabulous, motel, the brothers went directly to their room. Dean entered, and Castiel meant to follow, but Sam blocked the door and asked, "Cass do mind if I talk to Dean alone?" and before he could answer, Sam closed the door in his face.

When Sam turned around to confront Dean, he saw Castiel standing behind him.

"I guess you do mind," Sam said in defeat.

"I love him," Castiel reiterated.

Dean turned around and directed Castiel to the plastic table and two chairs nestled in the corner of their room and said, "Just sit here and be quiet while I talk to Sam."

Castiel open his mouth to speak, but Dean cut him off, yelling, "No, you may not kiss me now."

Dean turned back to his brother and said, "Ok, Sam what's going on? I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from you. First you freak out because I'm holding Cass's hand then you kiss him."

"I freaked out because I freaked out. All that tension and teasing in the hospital and then, bang! You're holding his hand. I just lost it."

"Ok fine, but what about the kiss?"

Well, I have something to admit," Sam said.

"And what's that Sammy?"

"Cass is not the first man I've kissed."

"What!"

"Yeah, I've had, uh, encounters with guys before."

"Encounters," Dean repeated befuddled.

"And," Sam continued, "that wasn't first time I've kissed Cass."

Dean turned to Castiel and bellowed, "Cass have you been kissing Sam behind my back!"

"No," Castiel replied.

Dean, confused, turned back to Sam who just shrugged.

"Sam says you did," he questioned.

"Sam has kissed me several times in the past, but I have never kissed him," Castiel explained.

Sam began to laugh, but he was cut short by the threatening glare Dean turned on him.

"You know what," said Sam, backing away from his brother, "it's awfully late. I think I'm going to get my own room for tonight, and we can talk about this tomorrow."

Sam gathered his duffle bag and shaving kit and exited the room as Dean yelled, "You bet we'll talk about this tomorrow. I've got a lot of freaking questions for you Sammy!"

Dean drew a deep breath and after a moment, turned to Castiel and made an exaggerated gesture pointing down to the floor.

Castiel approached and stood on that exact spot.

Dean looked at Castiel and studied him. "Why," wondered Dean, "am I so attracted to him? I've never been attracted to any man before. What is it that draws me to him?"

Castiel reached out and grabbed a handful each of Dean's coat sleeves and pulled him forward, so they were chest to chest and face to face.

In his deep, throaty voice, Castiel asked, "Can I kiss you now?"

Dean swallowed hard and said in a breathless tone, "Yes."

Castiel tilted his head to one side and gave Dean a firm, gentle kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel looked down upon the sleeping figure of Dean Winchester. The angel reached down and drew his thumb across Dean's eyebrow and turning his hand over, he let it slide down the side of Dean's handsome face. Dean opened his eyes and turned toward the angel but saw only empty space.

There came a rapping on the motel door. Suspicious, Dean drew his gun from under his pillow and pointed it at the door as he struggled to get out of bed. He winched in pain as his fractured ribs protested his every action and with the gun in one hand and the cast on the other, he made little progress. Before he could sit fully upright, Sam entered carrying coffee and a white bag.

"Coffee and pie," he called out heading for the small table in the corner of the room where he deposited them along with his room key.

"Since when do you knock?" Dean asked in obvious pain.

Sam came to his side and helped him to his feet saying, "I was just trying to be considerate. I didn't know what and you Cass might be up to in here."

"I'm going to shoot you," Dean said quietly, pointing the gun toward, but not at, Sam.

Sam put up his hands and backed away asking, "Do you want coffee and pie or not? Because if you shoot me, I'm not sharing."

"What kind of pie?"

"Blueberry."

"Damn it!" Dean shouted while dropping the gun to his side.

"Also," Sam added, "if you're going to have coffee and pie with me, you need to put something on."

Looking down, Dean was shocked to see that he was naked. This was highly unusual as Dean never slept in anything but a t-shirt and pair of boxers.

Putting his gun over his genitals he asked, "Sam would get me a fresh pair of draws from my bag."

Sam went to Dean's duffle bag and drew out a fresh pair of boxers and a t-shirt for good measure. He crossed the room and held them out to Dean.

Dean rolled his head in an exaggerated manner coming to a stop; he gave Sam an intense look.

"What?" Sam teased.

"Don't make me ask," Dean seethed through close teeth.

"Ask what?"

Rolling his head again but stopping to look at the opposite wall Dean said, "Sam would you help me put those on?"

Smiling wide and thinking, "This is so much fun." Sam said sincerely, "Sure Dean, no problem."

Sam threw the t-shirt on the bed and then bending over, he held the boxers open and out, so Dean could step into them. Using the backs of his hands, Sam pulled the boxers out sideways and slid them up. They grazed the front and back of Dean's legs as they went. When the waistband reached Dean's penis, he moved the gun out of the way, and Sam pulled the waistband forward, up and over it. Sam then slid his hands over Dean's hips and buttocks riding the boxers up atop his hands the rest of the way.

"Hey!" Dean shouted at the feel of his brother's hands running over his body.

"Was that really necessary?" he growled at Sam.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam lied.

Dean waved the gun and said, "You're really asking for it!"

Sam pulled the gun away from him.

He gave Dean a very disapproving look and said, "Jesus Dean," and after setting the gun's safety, he tucked it into the back of his pants.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dean mimicked.

Sam retrieved the t-shirt and gathered it up, so he could gently pass it over Dean outstretched arms and over his head. He pulled it down some, but Dean pushed him away and finished adjusting it himself.

Sam sat at the table. Dean followed and gingerly lowered himself into the opposite chair.

They sat quietly drinking their coffee and eating blueberry pie.

Sam finally asked what had been on his mind the entire morning, "So what happened with you and Castiel last night?"

"We had sex," Dean calmly replied.

Sam gulped and inhaled a great deal of coffee. He began to cough, sputter and choke profusely until he was purple.

Dean just smiled and continued to enjoy his pie.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean Winchester looked upon his brother Sam whose coughing fit was beginning to subside. Having aspirated on his coffee, Sam was regaining control over his breathing and his composer.

"You," Sam barely croaked still unable to speak.

Dean waited patiently as Sam huffed and coughed more of the coffee from his lungs.

"You had sex with Castiel?" Sam asked.

Dean drew a deep breath. He had meant only to startled Sam, as he loved keeping his brother perpetually off balance, but it was the truth. He regretted saying anything about it. He toyed with the idea of lying by saying he was only kidding but that, he assumed, would just lead to more lies, and he hated lies and liars.

"Yes, I did," he finally replied solemnly.

Sam was gobsmacked. He sat looking out into middle distance while the idea of "Destiel" roiled his mind.

"Sam," Dean pulled him back, "you mentioned last night that you had kissed guys before. Do you want to enlighten me on your past gay shenanigans?"

"Um, yeah, I've made out with a few guys in the past," Sam said, adding in a low murmur, "done things."

"Like with who for instance?" Dean inquired while ignoring that last part.

Sam hesitated before saying, "A high school friend or two, a college buddy, a rando here and there," and after a bit of a pause he added, "Cass."

Dean leaned forward and squinting his eyes asked, "Cass?"

"Yeah, a few times. Not long after he first showed up, I pulled him aside one day and kissed him," Sam smiled as he recalled the first time he kissed Castiel, "he was completely nonplussed about it."

"Nonplussed?" Dean asked looking for clarification.

"Yeah, unconcerned. Like it was nothing. He asked me why I kissed him, and I just said I wanted to, and he just accepted it," Sam explained.

"You just wanted to kiss him?"

"Yeah, I don't what it is about him. I was just," Sam gestured by touching his hand to his chest and waved it back and forth, "drawn to him."

Dean said, "I know the feeling."

Sam put his arm on the table and leaned forward over it toward Dean and smirking, he asked, "So what happened last night?"

Dean, irritated by his brother's gleeful inquiry, as his whole sense of self had been radically altered by the night's events, said, "Could you maybe take it down a notch Sammy. I'm having a hard time dealing with all of this."

Sam said, "Yeah, ok, sorry Dean," then he added, "Talk about having a hard time, what would Dad say?"

Dean slammed his fist on to the table, pitched forward and bellowed into Sam's face, "You know exactly what he would say!"

Sam started back so violently he would have fallen over if not for the wall behind him. He righted himself saying quickly, "Sorry, sorry, I do know, sorry Dean. Forgive me, that was a stupid thing to say."

Dean used the back of his hand to wipe spittle from his mouth.

After a moment, Sam soften his approach and said, "I just wanted to make sure you're all right with what happened last night. Are you comfortable with it?

Dean eyed his brother suspiciously and said, "I'm done talking about this."

Sam again pushed too far and said, "I've always wondered what it would be like to be with"

Before he could finish, Dean reached under the table with his good hand and flung it across the room. It crashed into the decorative room divider at the front door.

Sam bounded away from his brother and in a panic shouted, "Whoa, Dean take it easy! What the hell's the matter?"

"You can just forget about it Sammy!" Dean shouted back.

"About what? Cass? Dean I was only talking. Why such a commotion?"

Dean looked past Sam as Castiel was now standing behind him and said, "I think I love him, that's why."


End file.
